I come here to complain. | lostinapril's Blog

I don't have anywhere else to post where someone i know wont see this shit. But there's just thoughts I have. Im not a person to look up to. but who would I even be a role model for? maybe that's why Im terrible. I dont have to be responsible for anyone. And once i fuck up, i fuck up for good. if i hurt someone's feelings or be a shithead for no reason...well...once i figure out that there was really no reason other than me being moody, or taking something the wrong way, i cant go back. i just decide that well, thats it. no coming back. i hate that awkward shit of apologizing. and its not that i wont apologize. or dont feel the need to. im just so embarrased of how i acted in whatever situation that it was that i dont wanna be around the person i made upset. but then again, i feel like a lot of people fuck with me and my emotions, and dont give two shits. they're sorry that I feel bad. but not that they did something to me that caused me to feel bad. like oh. that sucks. sucks to suck. but never "what can i do to compensate for what i did?" it's never that. no one ever wants to take responsibility. so maybe that's why i dont feel like i should for anyone else. i wonder if i can ever find the strength to stop being a hypocrite.