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I come here to complain. | lostinapril's Blog


I don't have anywhere else to post where someone i know wont see this shit. But there's just thoughts I have. Im not a person to look up to. but who would I even be a role model for? maybe that's why Im terrible. I dont have to be responsible for anyone. And once i fuck up, i fuck up for good. if i hurt someone's feelings or be a shithead for no reason...well...once i figure out that there was really no reason other than me being moody, or taking something the wrong way, i cant go back. i just decide that well, thats it. no coming back. i hate that awkward shit of apologizing. and its not that i wont apologize. or dont feel the need to. im just so embarrased of how i acted in whatever situation that it was that i dont wanna be around the person i made upset. but then again, i feel like a lot of people fuck with me and my emotions, and dont give two shits. they're sorry that I feel bad. but not that they did something to me that caused me to feel bad. like oh. that sucks. sucks to suck. but never "what can i do to compensate for what i did?" it's never that. no one ever wants to take responsibility. so maybe that's why i dont feel like i should for anyone else. i wonder if i can ever find the strength to stop being a hypocrite.

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sumnerkagan
Posted on 04:13PM on Feb 2nd, 2013
It often doesn't seem like it, but nobody can make you feel anything. You choose your own responses by how you choose to interpret a situation - that's all it is, each person's perspective is a set of stories we tell ourselves about what's going on and our role in it. If we change our interpretation, so does the story. As long as you're invested in a particular narrative, that's what you'll see. Think of ways you might re-frame all of this that would give you back your power.
lostinapril
Posted on 01:39PM on Feb 11th, 2013
I can see where you're coming from, but sometimes its hard to see things in any other shade than black and white, so to speak. Interpretation can make a situation easier to deal with I suppose, but when the truth is just somebody doesn't care how you feel, there's not really any other way to look at it. And that sucks.
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I ...don't even know., posted February 11th, 2013
I come here to complain., posted January 6th, 2013, 2 comments
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